While much of what I write are stories, I like to occasionally take the time to share some of my thoughts on the human experience. In particular when it comes to sex.
We are a bottled up soda can called society that is being shaken up. When the top is popped we burst. While we are inundated with sexual images, innuendos and messages on virtually every form of media, as a general rule, sex is still a taboo.
“Polite girls” don’t talk about it, “Gentlemen” never kiss and tell. We keep the issue wrapped under lock and key and in turn miss out.
So let’s talk. Let’s be honest.
Sex is an expression of the human condition. At our core we are mammals, animals. We are meant to procreate. The difference between us and other species is that while they use it solely to propagate their species, we can give and receive vast amounts of pleasure from our experience.
Sex is a beautiful thing. It can be done on many levels and each time is a chance to try or discover something new. We can be rough; spanking, smacking, pounding each other into the bed. We can be tender; kissing, holding, slowly building up steam. We can be passionate; ripping each other’s clothes off, impatient children at Christmas waiting to play with their toys.
There are so many levels of sex. So many ways to explore another human being, to explore ourselves. Like sex, another thing we don’t dare name is the “M” word. Masturbation. It’s the “dirty” little thing we do in secret that we never discuss.
Studies have shown that even young children explore their bodies. Not because they are deriving sexual pleasure from it, that is a concept they have no awareness of, but simply because it feels good. We are creatures driven by the need to feel pleasure. Driven by the need to feel. Masturbation isn’t just a part of us, it is a necessary and vital way to get to know your own body and what you like and don’t.
Touching yourself, being in charge of your own pleasure, it’s empowering. It teaches you that you are in control of the physical sensations that often dominate your body. It teaches you what touch you appreciate, what touch you don’t like.
Yet, with that being said, it’s a topic that we don’t discuss openly and when we do it is often tinged with shame or embarrassment because it’s ingrained in us that it’s not proper.
So here is what I say to the words “proper” “dirty” “shameful” “taboo”….FUCK IT! Be brave, be bold. Explore your body and explore your partners. Don’t be afraid to speak openly with one another about your needs and wants and desires. Share your fantasies and don’t have shame in them.
Own your sexuality and your body. Embrace that you are a glorious creature who gets one shot in this life. If you spend it existing instead of living you’re doing yourself a disservice.
Ever thought of sleeping with 2 men at once? 2 women? Try it. Ever thought of jerking off while your gf watches? Tell her. Ever thought of playing with a toy while you’re getting fucked? Why not? How about ass play, BDSM, oral sex, or exhibitionism? I can go on and on with this list of “Ever’s” but you get my point! There is seriously no limit to our imaginations when it comes to sex and we are each beautifully unique in our want.
The only person in control of your body is you. The only person in control of the pleasure you can give and receive is yourself. Embrace your sexuality. Embrace who you are meant to be. Become Ponce de Leon and go on a voyage of the body, creating a map of the places you like best.
Be brave my friends. Be bold. Stop letting society tell you who you are meant to be and start discovering it for yourself.
Talk to your partner, get the discussion going. You might surprise yourselves in what you find out. Life is a journey, travel it alone or with someone but travel it. Robert Frost said “Don’t go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail”. Here is to blazing a new trail when it comes to topics like sex. We all want it, we all do it, until we start discussing it we may never know what packages have been waiting to be unwrapped that are collecting dust under our proverbial trees.
Namaste — MR