It’s one of those nights. The kind where the silence seems to have a voice. The rain has stopped for now and the ground is soaked. Crickets chirp outside of my window, frogs joining them in a melodic song. I’m restless, turned on, my thoughts wandering down winding paths.
The living room is filled with candles and I slowly light them, allowing my eyes to adjust to the soft and bellowing light. The scent of Dragons’ Blood incense fills the room with aromatic smoke, filling my nose and invading my senses. I slip on my outfit for the evening, a belly dancers costume complete with coined hip scarf and veil. I love the way the metal feels, cool and smooth against my skin as it bumps with each step. When I wear it, I am transformed, remnants of my every day life left behind.
I open my laptop the blue light emanating from the screen as it loads adding a pleasant hue to the candle light. I log into my site, and start my camera, waiting patiently as more and more people join in. This is my secret pleasure, the thing I do in the dark when the husband is out of town and the kids are away at friends. Weeks filled with PTA meetings and soccer matches, nutritional dinners set on the table by 5 p.m. sharp. I strip of the suit of skin worn ragged by the title of mother and wife and slip into the one called seductress brought to life through the glare of a monitor and faceless strangers I’ll never know.
The music begins to pick up and my body sways back and forth, left and right then right and left, my hips sing the ancient song of seduction as they gyrate to the beat. My veil partially covers my face, allowing them to only see the want and desire that radiates from my hazel eyes. I’ve become lost, my arms turned into serpents weaving this way and that, coiling around my body and above my head. The coins of my scarf jangle and chime with the beat, my stomach undulating as I roll it up and down. A sheen of sweat covers my body as the rhythm changes and I move with it in rapid time.
Round and round I twirl, my body singing an ancient song, the tune of seduction and lust. I’ve become Aphrodite, a moving embodiment of sex and I can practically feel their eyes staring back at me through their screens.
The song winds down, I stop to catch my breathe. A look at my screen shows 50 more people have joined my room, 60 people who stopped on a lonely Spring night to watch me dance. I wave to the watchers and blow them a kiss. Leaning in to turn of my camera, I cannot contain the smile that has formed on my lips. Music makes the soul free and the spirit move. “Till tomorrow” I tell them before signing off. I have four more days alone in this house and I am already itching to dance.